Helpful Words and Actions
Helpful Things to Say
Validate
- “It can be difficult to know what to do.”
- “It can feel overwhelming at times.”
- “It’s ok to still love him/her but not like what’s happening.”
Educate
- “I am concerned for your safety.”
- “Leaving can be a very dangerous time.”
- “There are options available.”
- “Abuse is often about power and control.”
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been late, absent, tired, different lately, I’m concerned.”
Empower
- “You know your situation best.”
- “It’s important for you to make the decision that is best for you.”
- “The local domestic violence program may be able to help safety plan.”
- “The local domestic violence program may be able to explore options with you.”
Some helpful things to do:
- Listen
- Respect privacy and confidentiality
- Respect her choices
- Encourage them to seek professional resources
- Validate feelings
Unhelpful responses
- Making promises
- Everything will be ok
- Guarantee local domestic violence program services
- Likelihood of court decisions, housing availability, outcomes
- Give suggestions without knowing dynamics of situation
- Go stay at your mother’s house
- Leave the children at the babysitter’s house
This website made possible by support from the